Reader Amy Remus interviews the men of Taylor Security.

 

First of all, I am a little nervous in this group of guys. Some of you intimidate me, so please go easy on me in this interview.

  • Vic: Don’t worry, Darlin’, we take good care of our women.
  • Adrienne: Oh, puh-lease!
  • Vic: You created this monster. Darlin’
  • Adrienne: Don’t I know it.

Mr. Taylor, can you let us know what the org chart is at Taylor Security? Who reports to whom?

  • Billy: Mr. Taylor? Don’t get used to that crap. I’m not calling you Mr. Taylor.
  • Michael (laughing): As you can see, I’m highly respected by my staff. The org chart is currently a mess. I’m at the top, but Vic has a piece of the company so he’s a hair below me. Right now, Lynx reports to both of us because he’s still transitioning into Vic’s old job while Vic gets another division off the ground. Eventually, Lynx will report directly to me and these idiots will all report to him.

With so many “leaders” in the office, how do you guys make it work?

  • Monk: We argue a lot.
  • Vic: Hell, yes.
  • Lynx: This is the most opinionated group I’ve ever met. Somehow, and it’s beyond me how, but they get things done in exceptional fashion.

How do you deal with big issues that you guys may not agree upon related to the company?

  • Billy: Someone usually gets their ass kicked.
  • Monk: And it’s usually Billy.
  • Billy: One time, dude. One time.
  • Monk: Just saying.
  • Lynx: Okay. Shut it down.

Which one of you has changed the most since joining Taylor Security?

  • Vic: That’s gotta be me.
  • Monk: No doubt. You’ve gone soft:
  • Vic: Pfft. Dream on. Just because I’m done playing cowboy doesn’t mean I can’t still outshoot your ass. I got a wife and five—count ‘em—five kids to take care of.
  • Michael: He’s got you on that one. Of all of us, his life is drastically different now. And he’s my brother-in-law now. Something really twisted about that one.
  • Adrienne: He’s still hasn’t gotten over that Vic broke his own Man Law about not messing with his best friend’s sister.
  • Michael: I’m over it, but, hey, some lines shouldn’t crossed and I shouldn’t walk in on my sister and my friend doing the nasty.
  • Adrienne: Moving on!

Is Taylor Security adding anyone new to the team in the near future?

  • Michael: We’re always adding new people. Plus, Vic is about to open his training center for operatives who want to keep their skills sharp. We’ll have an entire staff for that place.
  • Vic: And let me tell you, the crew I’m looking at knows how to get out of serious messes.
  • Lynx: I’ll be happy when the training center opens. At least then Vic will quit coming by my office and bugging me all day.
  • Vic: Boy Scout, you love me.
  • Lynx: Not that much, I don’t.

Are there any females that work as security experts with Taylor Security? I recently heard about a female at Red Stone Security (Katie Reus / Breaking Her Rules) who is a former Marine that kicks some serious butt.

  • Michael: We don’t have any female operatives right now.
  • Monk: My Izzy can kick some serious ass though.
  • Vic (whistling): Oh, yeah. I’ve sparred with her. She’s tough.
  • Monk: Me too. Except Adrienne deleted that scene.
  • Adrienne: Blah, blah.

My pal Kelsey would like to know what secrets you keep for each other. Willing to share any of those?

  • Michael: I’m out.
  • Monk: Not touching it.
  • Billy: For once, I will engage the filter.
  • Lynx: Yeah, I’m not going there either. I’ve got some good stuff though.
  • Vic: And give up my blackmail material? I haven’t lived this long because I’m stupid.

Any wedding bells or babies in the future for any of you?

  • Monk: I’m working on Izzy.
  • Billy: For which one?
  • Monk: Both!
  • Michael: Roxann is due any second now. We don’t know if it’s a boy or a girl though. We wanted to be surprised.
  • Vic: Uh, she wanted to be surprised. You gave in.
  • Michael: Yep. Not a battle worth fighting. Any smart husband knows which ones are.
  • Lynx (laughing): Jillian just gave me a key. We’re practically engaged.

Are any of you open to questions from any readers that pop in today?

  • Vic: Oh, yes. Please.
  • Billy: You know I’m game.
  • Adrienne: Dear God, not Billy.
  • Monk: I’m not talking about what kind of underwear I have on.
  • Billy: Dude! What the hell?
  • Monk: Laying the ground rules is all.

Thank you all for taking the time to stop by. Do you think your wives or significant others would be open for an interview in the future?

  • Vic: Just hell.
  • Lynx: Jillian would do that. I’ll warn you though, she’s not afraid to say what’s on her mind.
  • Michael: Mine runs a newspaper. She’d be all over that. After she pops out our baby though. Right now she’s hell on wheels. I’m afraid to speak.
  • Billy: I’d like to be in the delivery room.
  • Monk: Come on! Ew!
  • Billy: What? I just wanna see her screaming at him.
  • Adrienne: Okay. We’re done. Thank you, gentlemen. Amy, I’ll get the ladies here, you just tell me when. That might be fun because they’ve never all been in a room together. Oh, the stories they could tell.